Help, My Job is Killing Me! Work and Losing the Will to Live
Dr. Sheri Jacobson
March 7, 2023
By: 1Day Review
by Andrea M. Darcy
Really unhappy at work and feel like your job is slowing killing you? If you are losing the will to live, it’s a serious issue. Editor and lead writer Andrea M Darcy explores.
*if you are feeling like you might really hurt yourself or others, please call emergency services or go to the nearest A&E. If you desperately need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to call the Good Samaritans on 116 123.
Work Suicide is Serious
The Office of National Statistics’ most recent survey ‘Suicide by Occupation’ found that:
- men in low skill occupations had a 44% higher risk of committing suicide than average
- women working in culture, media, and sport occupations had a 69% higher risk of suicide than the national average
- carers, a group now being targeted for mental health awareness due to the stress of the job, had a 50% greater risk.
Is it just the job that sees you losing the will to live?
Feel your job is a dead end, and you have lost hope you can find anything else? Or working so hard you are always exhausted, but still are always in debt? Do you feel that your job is part of a struggle you’ve felt trapped in since childhood? These can all put you at a higher risk of being suicidal.
The same survey mentioned above felt that, “it may not be the actual occupation that puts individuals at risk, but features of the job such as low pay, job security and the wider socio-economic characteristics of individuals employed in a particular sector.”
Other factors can include:
- workplace bullying and harassment
- feeling underestimated and overlooked
- unrealistic expectations on employees like long hours
- being forced to do things you don’t agree with.
It’s not just the job
By: Brad P.
When we are very depressed and losing the will to live we tend to pick a ‘scape goat’. Our job is a great candidate because it’s socially acceptable to complain about it.
But research shows that there are usually other factors at play, such as many stressful life events happening at once. This could be a breakup, a bereavement, health issues, or depression and anxiety from unresolved childhood trauma.
For example, a study of suicide amongst Australian construction workers found that, “young employees were at excessive risk with separation/divorce, relationship problems, and untreated psychiatric conditions the major contributors.”
High levels of alcohol consumption or recreational drug use can also make us more vulnerable to harming ourselves. Another study on the construction industry found that nearly two-two-thirds of sucides had involved prior alcohol consumption.
What do I do if I am losing the will to live because of work?
If you feel your job is killing you, it’s time to take action, even if it is uncomfortable.
1. Shine a light on it.
Call them vampires if it helps — suicidal thoughts prosper in secrecy and the hidden darkness of our minds. So exposing them to the light of day is the first and best step.
Yes, as in tell someone. Make it someone you can trust. If you are scared of what people will think, and don’t have a friend or family member you can trust, then call a free hotline. Listeners want to hear from you, they spend hours training to do so. It’s just about getting the words out of your head. When we speak them, you can start deal with them.
By: OIST
2. Take advantage of resources.
Most workplaces in the UK now have mental health support for employees, whether that is several counselling services covered by insurance or free online courses you can take. It is there to be used. If you don’t want to explain in detail, just say you are struggling with your moods and be firm that you prefer to discuss in greater detail with your counsellor, not HR.
If you are being bullied or harassed or if the law is otherwise being broken in your workplace — unpaid hours, unethical requests — then sometimes what is needed to give hope is proper legal advice.
Sometimes we feel utterly hopeless as we are making huge assumptions. Perhaps we have never met anyone who did what we want to do, so assume it’s impossible. We assume we could never find another job, retrain, or are too old for a job change.
Other times we simply need more information to see a light at the end of the tunnel. This could be a spot of careers counselling, or working with a coach to help you realise your other talents you can’t see. Or it could be looking up mentor programs, or going to a local college to enquire about what it takes to sign up for other training. You might even want to talk to your local council who might offer programs to help you if you want to launch your own business or retrain.
3. Learn how to face and overcome suicidal thinking.
Suicidal thinking, and all the negative self talk it brings? It’s not who you are. It’s what it sounds like — just thoughts. And no matter how ‘true’ these thoughts sound? They aren’t. They are what is known as cognitive distortions — deviations from the truth that trick us.
You can actually learn to handle and navigate suicidal thinking so that it has less and less power over you. Learn how in our articles on handling suicidal thinking and balanced thinking.
Again, if you are feeling very suicidal, like you might hurt yourself or others, it’s important you get help. Call emergency services, or go to the nearest A&E.
If you are having suicidal thoughts but don’t think you’ll hurt yourself then good advice is:
- get to a safe space
- talk to someone you trust
- distract yourself
- focus on the present (today is not the day to worry about future)
- dodge your triggers (alcohol, drugs, sad music, toxic friends)
- do things that make you feel good (exercise, cooking, being in nature)
- connect (with friends, animals, nature, your version of God)
- seek proper support (GP, or emergency services if you are going to really hurt yourself).
Time to talk to someone who gets it about your suicidal thought and career frustrations? We connect you with top London counsellors. Or find UK-wide registered therapists and online counsellors on our booking platform.
Still have a question about losing the will to live over work? Post below.
Andrea M. Darcy is a health and wellbeing writer as well as mentor, trained in person-centred counselling and coaching. Find her on Instagram @am_darcy
Jesus christ, f you! Any potential cry-for-help comment that gets posted doesn’t even pass “moderator approval”!
Hi there Bob, if you are referring to the previous comment submitted to this article, which was from an email featuring the word anus and also listed Google as the site of the sender, rather logically that was flagged as Spam and sent direct to our Spam folder. Also note now we’ve dug it out all the comment said was, “None of this is actually helpful. I can only put up with this work to a certain extent.” Even if it wasn’t delegated to spam it would unfortunately not have been flagged up as a call for help. Your threat came less than 24 hours after the first comment was sent. We are unfortunately a blog run by a part-time editorial team, not a helpline with free counsellors on hand. Next time you are feeling low and don’t know where to turn, which we can understand is very hard if you have nobody to talk to, might we suggest you seek out a free 24-hour mental health helpline run by a mental health charity where a kind understanding person will answer. Here is our list of those that are available in the UK. http://bit.ly/mentalhelplines. If you are not in the UK, then google for a free helpline in your area. Note that counselling does wonders for anger and impulsivity issues that can leave you feeling really lonely as you might have a tendency to attack and push away other people right when you need them most. Here is an article on how to get free to low cost counselling if you are on a low budget. http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy.But note that if you do get your name on a list for low cost counselling, it can take some time to get an appointment, which can require patience. In such a case we would advise if at all possible to not send threatening messages or wish someone dead or you might risk your dossier not being processed. Best, HT.
The reason why most suicidal people drink or do drugs is because there’s an underline issue. People do those things to cope. People don’t want to admit or share there pain.
Yes Linda, that’s correct. Drinking and drugs is the symptom, the issue tends to be deep emotional pain. The substance is a way to find relief from emotional pain, and then unfortunately it causes more and not less problems. Best, HT.
Imagine if we all had the option not to work. It is possible. We could rearrange the way we incentivise labour. We do don’t need the threat of poverty. There are much healthier kinds of motivation we could be harnessing.
What if you are terrified and suicidal when it comes to going to work, but when you get there you are usually fine? How do I get past the terrified part and just go to work?