12 Depression Symptoms You Might Be Overlooking
by Andrea Blundell
Do you think a person with depression symptoms is sad, crying, and wanting to die? Think again.
Yes, these can be symptoms of major depressive disorder.
But depression is a complex issue and there are many types of depression. If you’ve been not yourself lately, and it is getting better but not worse? See if the below sounds a bit too familiar.
10 Depression Symptoms That Might Surprise You
1. Coffee has stopped working.
Lately you are just…. tired. You don’t know how else to put it. You’ve been trying all sorts to get over it. More coffee, less coffee. Going to bed earlier, not using screens before bed, supplements….
You are still exhausted.
There are moments you feel like you are pushing through sand, as if your whole body, every cell, is fatigued. But blood tests didn’t find anything….
2. Your sleep patterns are doing weird things.
Your usual eight hours is more like six as you are waking up very early, or can’t fall asleep fast. Or perhaps you wake up several times during the night and toss and turn.
Sleep problems and depression come hand-in-hand so often it can sometimes be a chicken or egg situation – hard to tell what came first.
3. You feel floaty, numb, even out of your body.
Mild depression can leave you feeling as if you are flatlining. You are neither happy or sad, you just…. are.
If you have any sort of trauma in your past you might start to experience dissociation as your depression progresses. This feels like you are watching yourself from a distance.
4. You are catching every cold and flu going.
A scientist at Carnegie Mellon University in the USA has shown that psychological stress makes us more susceptible to colds and also lowers the body’s ability to manage its inflammatory response.
If you come from a family, workplace, or culture where depression is seen as unacceptable? You might manifest your depression symptoms in a physical way.
This looks like always have a cold or flu, or having many unexplained medical symptoms you go to the doctor for but there is no obvious explanation. Some people even begin to have repetitive injuries.
5. You’ve been randomly snapping at people.
Your nice girl/guy image is getting tarnished of late because of a few…’episodes’. Perhaps you snapped at a colleague, got caught rolling your eyes at a manager, alienated a friend… And your poor partner, you’ve really had a go at her lately.
You say you’re just tired, but the truth is, you don’t really know why you feel so moody. What you haven’t told anyone about is the growing feeling inside. You just feel…. angry. A hidden rage, and it’s growing.
6. You social life is doing a 180.
Depending on your base line — what you are like socially when you are feeling balanced — this can look like suddenly going out every night, or suddenly turning down social offers to stay at home doing nothing.
Yes, we all need to take a social break now and then, and yes, some of us need to get out more. So social changes can be normal. But check in with yourself.
If you are going out way more, is there a sense of restlessness as well, as if you are afraid to slow down and face something? If you are staying home, are you feeling increasingly numb over the last few weeks?
7. You’re on a work bender. By choice.
It started as a bit of overtime. But now you are saying no to social events in favour of workaholism, and are saying yes instead to every extra contract that comes your way.
You oddly feel a sense of safety each time you tell someone no, I can’t, I’m busy working. And you try not to notice that the moment you have to stop working you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.
8. There’s some serious overeating happening.
Snacking is out of control. And you are not able to do portion sizes anymore. It’s not a few slices, it’s the whole pizza. You go out to eat and come home and eat again. Or buy groceries for the week, get home and eat it all in a day.
The truth is there is a numb feeling that begins when you eat a lot that somehow makes you feel better.
9. There is a lot more Netflix going on.
It started as a half hour when you got home, maybe. Now suddenly you are finding yourself ‘coming too’ late at night, wondering why you’ve gone and binge watched shows yet again. You’ve started watching thing you don’t even like. But you can’t seem to stop. You might even have sneakily been watching at work.
10. There is a lot more of something else going on.
Not Netflix, but more a lot of… “Netflix and chill”? Casual sex can be a sign of depression as well if you are using to to escape your emotions.
The moment you begin aggressively overdoing one thing, and deep down you know you are trying to avoid feeling something? It’s the depression spiral.
So habits of distraction that are a sign we are falling into a depression can also look like:
- overspending our money
- hours of online shopping
- drinking too much
- using too many party drugs
- video games for hours on end
- reading romance or fantasy novels excessively.
11. A bit (or lot) of ‘why bother’ is creeping in.
Usually you are known for good grooming. But lately? You went out the house in the same clothes two days in a row, or didn’t do your hair, or shave. And you handed in a work assignment without checking it over like you usually do. It’s as if your ability to care about things is lowering by the day.
You’ve been taking risks you usually don’t.
That Netflix at work, maybe a bit of lying to friends, or even things like eating expired food that might make you sick or walking through bad areas alone at night.
It’s as if something in your is courting troubles or even danger, and you don’t know why. You never thought of yourself as self destructive, but you can’t seem to stop this secret new habit. Maybe because it gives you a sense of waking up and being alive when you’ve felt so numb lately.
Is this all sounding a little too familiar?
Starting to realise that all your unusual behaviours lately might just be depression symptoms? Have they been going on for more than six weeks and seem to be worsening? Then time to take yourself seriously.
Talk to someone you trust and see if it helps and you can get to the bottom of what is upsetting you and make a few changes. Perhaps it’s just some heavy stress in the end, and there are ways forward. [You can take our free ‘Stressed, depressed, or both?‘ quiz if you are curious].
Unfortunately, however, depression tends to lack an exact cause. It can be all sorts of things rolled together, including experiences from long ago. And we can need proper support to navigate our way forward, particularly if we feel ashamed, or uncomfortable talking with friends.
There are self help tools that are a good start, such as mindfulness, self-care, bibliotherapy, and journalling.
But if you can, seek some counselling. See if your workplace insurance covers sessions, or if your school has low-cost or free support. If these options aren’t available and you are on a low budget, you might also find our article on how to find a low cost counselling useful.
Want to talk to someone, but feel too low to leave the house? Use our booking site to find an online therapist and get talking. We also connect you to UK-wide registered therapists and expert depression counsellors in central London.
Do you still have a question about depression symptoms? Ask below. Note that this is not a free counselling service, and we monitor all comments to protect our readers.
I have major depression GAD, ADHD, paniac attacks, cry alot, low self esteem, I do like to harm myself, stressed out all the time how my older sons treat me, boss me, use me. Also like to threaten to keep my grandchildren away unless I buy them stuff or pay there bills not mine, sleeping problems, I hate going outside anymore. Now my doctor says I’m bipolar whatever that really is. PTD, oh paranoid.. which I think is stupid. I cry I don’t want to be around noone anymore. Been to so many doctors so many different Meds that they give me or take off me. I had councilos come & go. Now I don’t know who I can trust and talk to. . Now I cancal doctors appts.
Yes I get your letters but just starting to really read them more. So I can’t change my email address. So I guess no kind’ve help either from you. Thanks anyway
Hi Theresa, gosh, this sounds a real struggle. We don’t know what country you are, probably America we are guessing? Regardless, there are free helplines you can call where the volunteers are happy to talk, the UK list on the off chance you are here is http://bit.ly/mentalhelplines. Regarding ‘counsellors come and go’ what does that mean? It sounds like a lot of instablity, which is the last thing you need if you have PTSD. If it’s you who quits, then try not to – it’s not about liking a counsellor, with this kind of background you won’t trust anyone at first, it’s about sticking it out long enough trust can develop. If they have changed counsellors on you as you are using one government provided, then it can be an idea to find someone on your own. If you have no budget read our article on low to no cost therapy and where to find it here for ideas http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy
Hi Theresa, we are an online blog/magazine, run by editors, not a counselling service, despite working for a company that provides counselling, you can book with them here https://harleytherapy.com/. Also do see our note on your other comment with a link to a list of free hotlines you can call. If you don’t want to receive our emails, you simply have to scroll to the bottom of any email and you’ll see it says ‘unsubscribe’ you just hit that and it cancels you from our email list. Thanks.
I’ve never harmed myself but I dont shave because I dont want to take the chance. I’ve felt numb for years. It’s like I’m only feeling emotions for other people. I went to Japan for an exchange and ever since then I have been feeling a little bit happier and more grateful for my life but I’m always bored and numb. I’ve have friends who were depressed and going through much worse things than I have and so I’ve never really talked about it because they made me feel inferior everytime I brought it up. I’ve had problems with anxiety before. My mum has a theory that our whole family has autism which could explain a bit but I’m not sure. We’re not the type of people who just go to a doctor for a cold or something like that. Unless I’m dying I’m not going to get help while I live with my parents. Theyd find it embarrassing and I think theyd think it was their fault.
Hi Isla, cutting yourself shaving isn’t self-harm, it’s just an accident. What we sense here is that you are lonely. As you said in another comment, you feel misunderstood. And we’d say again that it’s actually quite normal to feel all these things as a teenager. You might find that when you are old enough to move out and make your own decisions in life these issues just fade away. This is why you probably felt better in Japan, as you got to be an individual away from your family. In the meantime, we’d suggest you try one of those mental health free helplines we talked about. The people who work for them are volunteers who really happy to talk to you, and they won’t judge you, plus it is all confidential and private. Take care, HT.
I honestly feel like this is not my place to express how I feel. I’m 16, in the UK. We are currently on a lock down, and my college has moved all the work to video calls. The point is, I’m really behind on almost all of the assignments. My mum knows this. But I just can’t find any motivation at this current period of time, to continue anything. Its hard to understand my feelings at the moment, we, as a family, have faced some incidents with my biological dad… he tried messaging me. Anyways. I’ve lost all my motivation to continue the course, as its so difficult at the moment. I find it so hard to talk to my lecturers and try and ask them for help. My brain is full of so many thoughts. I’m scared I will be kicked off my course.. and my parents have said I will have to find my own place to go if it ever happens. I just find it so hard to explain anything to anyone at the moment.. and I don’t want to seem like an attention seeker for asking for help. I don’t think anyone can truly understand how my brain is working. But I’ve changed so much (for the worst) recently. I miss college. Seeing my only friend i can talk to. I can’t cope with college over a call, I don’t want to appear out of anywhere if i randomly join back to the lesson calls. I really hope this lock down ends soon. I need help. Mentally. And Emotionally.
Hi Millie, sounds tough. On a good note, you can cut yourself some slack. The entire pandemic situation is making most of us spacey and unmotivated. Read our recently posted articles, there is even one explaining what it’s all doing to your brain! And another on getting through the pandemic as a sensitive person. Many, many, MANY of us are feeling anxious, stressed, and unable to function. And your biological father reaching out would definitely be that one step too far on the stress-ometer. Sure to trigger all sorts. We think your teachers and also parents will understand if you explain this to them. You say you find it too hard. What could help? Have you tried writing it all out first? Or rehearsing with a friend what you would say? Is there a friend who sounds like you on the phone who could call for you? Could you do it via email? It is scary to admit we are struggling, but it’s something we need to learn to get used to as life gets tough on and off and we all need to do it now and then. From there, we’d say you should seek some support. Most if not all schools in the UK connect students to low cost or even free counselling. take advantage of it. It can be a huge relief to have someone unbiased and uninvolved to vent to. And again, dealing with a pandemic AND a biological father reaching out is a lot for anyone. If you don’t want to access counselling through your college, there is also cheap therapy out there (we have some very low cost therapists on our online booking platform even https://harleytherapy.com/)although you’d need parental approval as you are under 18. We have an article here on how to talk to parents about mental health that can help on that front http://bit.ly/talktoparents. Best, HT.
when i was in secondary school i started noticing that i would have more and more violent thoughts. its started out as just wandering what i would say in an argument….then it got worse…i would be more and more angry everytime and for a while this seemed to help calm any anger i might have felt at the time. but again it just kept getting worse until eventually, more when i was in collage i started to notice that my thoughts had become homicidal in nature. i noticed that as the depiction of myself within my intrusive thoughts got more angry….it bled into the real world and i started to feel the same amount of rage i had with in my thoughts. in order to try and hide it and not act on the rage i felt….i clenched my jaw so tightly i felt pain in my teeth and gums, i clenched my fits so hard that my nails left deep marks in the palm of my hands. i noticed that i started to take on the more physical and emotional traits of the depiction that was in my violent thoughts and i found it really difficult not to act on the impulses to hurt people that i ended up feeling .
i was so distraught with these thoughts i started punching the side of head, slamming my head down on the pillow. pulling at my hair just enough to the point it would hurt. i also often tried to keep my head underwater until i had the sensation of drowning. nothing seemed to work though. i also tried the whole think positively thing. but any time i tried to put a happy memory or happy fantasy in the way of it, all the intrusive thoughts i tried to run from bled through the images in my head and all the people in my happy memories or fantasies were dead. i had this urge that surge around my body that made me want to hurt people in any and always possible. there were times i think i dissociated or at least was about too. i had this weird foggy/haziness in my head, some sounds and images were distorted and i couldnt really remeber information all that well when this fogginess was in my head. i sometimes question who i am, wether or not i am a good person or pure evil. i feel that no good person would ever think and feel the way that i do. i took an overdoes of anti depressants only to quickly realize that i made a mistake, i realized that i didn’t want to die….i wanted everything i was going to die/end. i started receive hypnotherapy in 2016 and then some counseling at the very end of 2017 going into the first few months of 2018. this acutally helped a fair bit but i still feel like i have a long way to go as i sometimes forget the methods to deal with intrusive thoughts and sometimes they end up enveloping my brain again. i still dont know if im a good person or not…..all i know is that i am trying to be the best person i can be given the circumstances.
Hi Peter. Thank you for this share. What if this whole idea of ‘good person’ and ‘bad person’ is baloney? And we are all just people, with flaws? We ALL have the capacity to be angry and full of rage. Some of us had a pretty crap childhood. We didn’t feel loved, or we were traumatised. We end up with all sorts of anger and nobody asks us how we feel as a kid, and we feel it’s all our fault, and it rolls into adulthood. And then we are stuck in a society where most people STILL don’t ask us how we feel. Or there is an expectation that we are all supposed to be fine and happy. So we end up with a whole society of people with different levels of sadness, anger and rage, all pretending to be fine. This is changing. Mental health issues are starting to be talked about. But imagine if we lived in a world where we could say we were angry and sad when bad things happen. And carry it around like a growing snowball that is made of rage and fire instead of ice. You are doing this very thing that society does to YOURSELF. Expecting yourself to be ‘fine, positive, happy’. You see you are suffering more from SHAME from what we can see. An idea you are bad, evil, not good enough, flawed, different, and should feel bad for feeling emotions we all feel, to some level or other. Shame causes us to bottle up, and bottling up leads to explosions. We would also say, and we hope your counsellor made this clear, you are not your thoughts. Thoughts do not make you ‘bad’. They are just thoughts. You are something bigger. A thing that waits behind the thoughts.A valuable person, with things to offer only you can. If we act on thoughts, and hurt others, that’s a different situation. But it seems the only person you act out violence on so far is yourself. Can you be proud of that? That you’ve managed that? So we aren’t sure what counselling you tried. We would guess very strongly you have lived through childhood trauma and/or difficult childhood experiences. Regular counselling without stabilising can make trauma victims worse not better. Hypnotherapy is helpful as a stabiliser. As are therapies like EMDR and CBT. that also work to rewire your brain (CBT is recommended for intrusive thoughts). As well as compassion based therapy, that can help you stop beating yourself up, or perhaps schema therapy, that involves limited reparenting, where you learn how to trust. (more on therapies for trauma here http://bit.ly/therapyfortrauma). There is also a need to dig out and face your core beliefs and recognise they are beliefs, not who you are. Limiting core beliefs sound like, I am a monster, I am worthless, I am unloveable. Finally, be proud of yourself. You sought help. That’s huge. Give yourself some credit and stop trying to be perfect, positive, and ‘good’. It’s okay to be a flawed human. The truth is we all are. Best, HT.