Understanding Depersonalisation Disorder

That sounds really hard. It’s hard to feel good when we feel disconnected from ourselves. And it sounds like you are feeling misunderstood and experiencing emotional shock of some sort (https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/7-warning-signs-acute-stress-reaction-emotional-shock.htm). It’s important to talk to others who can understand, whether that is a psychotherapist (they don’t prescribe medications, they just listen to you and support you), a support group, or an online forum. There are people who do understand, so don’t give up!

Again, see above – not mad at all. The brain processes things in its own unique ways. And trauma in particular can program the brain in certain ways. Such things can actually clear up remarkably quickly with the right support. The only ‘mad’ thing would be not believing you deserve help with this.

We’d really agree that a therapist is a good idea. In fact we are huge advocates that any doctor who puts someone on antidepressants should also offer them access to counselling, although sadly this is not always the case in today’s pill friendly culture. Drugs mask symptoms but don’t get to the root of the issue or help you learn better life management skills, all necessary to move forward. If you are in London or happy to work over Skype, you can call our admin (0845 474 1724) and they can put you in touch with our therapists who work with this disorder.

Hi, no, it just means that it’s not like a virus where you can take antibiotics. There are treatments that can help tremendously.

Oh gosh this sounds hard. And undoubtedly you had some trauma in your earlier life to lead to this sort of difficulty, one would imagine. We don’t end up taking drugs for fun, but to hide difficult feelings and to cope. It’s always hard for us to hear stories where individuals have been put on medication without any support. What you need is someone to talk to, someone you can trust, someone who doesn’t judge you for sharing your feelings and thoughts. In other words a professional therapist or counsellor. Who can help you slowly worth through the trauma that left you so anxious in the first place. It’s also hard to get out of prison, that in itself is an adjustment and trauma. We imagine you are in the USA from the sounds of it, we are a UK company, so we don’t know the system there. But do look into charities that support ex-prisoners,that might provide free counselling, or try to find any sort of free or low cost counselling if you can’t afford to pay for it. You are a strong person to get through all this, and it will take some more strength to find support. But we do believe there is hope for you. Anxiety is actually very responsive to therapy. With time commitment and courage, you can progress. We wish you well.

Hi Chris, we are sorry to hear all this. Do you have a professional diagnosis, or are you self diagnosed? And have you tried CBT therapy? It is very good, especially at helping stop rumination, dwelling on certain thoughts. And it’s a very unique kind of therapy as it doesn’t involve going over and over your past but just on getting control of your racing negative thoughts. Mindfulness is also a great help when we need to feel more connected to ourselves. And we have a free, easy to read guide here http://bit.ly/mindfulnessallabout. Finally, depersonalisation is often trauma related, and trauma can really leave us with so little self esteem. Anything you can do to be kinder to yourself would help a lot. Read about self compassion and try to do one thing a day just to be nice to yourself. Make a list of all the things you do for friends, notice what you say to friends. Can you treat yourself at least that nicely? Something to think about.

Hi Jay, we would advise you talk to a medical professional about that. We aren’t psychiatrists, we don’t actually prescribe medication, so we aren’t familiar with the exact side effects and are also not licensed to give any medical advice. From a psychotherapeutic view, stress and anxiety can have physical side effects, particularly if your sleep is affected. But again, in this case, please do see a doctor and possibly an eye doctor, the timing could be a coincidence and it might be a separate vision issue. Good luck!

Hi there. First of all, we’d recommend a physical checkup to rule out any medical cause. Feeling spacey and unreal is not only the domain of psychological issues. As for a personality disorder, 11 is too young for any sort of personality disorder, it’s an age where the brain is still very much growing and changing. You say he has had no trauma or upsetting experience, but it’s impossible for a parent to know that, unfortunately. Children have experiences outside of parental control, such as being bullied or insulted at school. Second of all, trauma is the perspective of the sufferer and his or her brain. A parent disappearing for one day without notice but then coming back can be traumatic for one child but not at all affect another. The point being that it’s still very possible there was something that upset him, and feeling unreal can very much be a response to a challenging experience, so try not to jump to conclusions. Many, many children have nightmares. Again, not a sign of a personality disorder, nor is a child feeling life is a dream. We are also curious that your son told you he has derealisation. It’s a very big concept for a child to know. How did he learn about it? Did he read something on the internet that scared him? Or did you unknowingly translate this for him? You also say it’s only been a week. Reading or seeing something upsetting on the internet or TV can easily upset a child for a week or more. In summary, what concerns us here is also that you are going into complete panic. It’s not that we are not taking your child’s upset seriously. But children are not always happy, that is not normal. Children get sad and scared. Sometimes very sad and very scared, for a week or more. We are worried that your child not being perfectly happy (a very big expectation your child would feed into and try to meet, if he knew this is what made you happy) for just one week seems to be throwing you into a terror. Using words like ‘desperate’ and ‘terrified’. Children are remarkably resilient and able to cope. Adults, less so. Our question is, are YOU able to cope with this? Or are you uncomfortable that it is outside your control? So we first of all would advise a manual that helps you communicate in a way a child can understand and listen in a way a child actually feels heard, we find it remarkable for helping parents to help their children process experiences and emotions, it’s called “How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk’ by Faber and Mazlish. It’s great you got your child support, and we can see how much you love your child, but are you able to trust the process of the therapy, that will take time? Do not overlook seeking support for yourself. Parenting can be difficult and trigger all sorts of old anxieties that can mean we panic with what we can’t control. Best, HT.

Hi Vikki. We definitely wouldn’t jump to conclusions that you have depersonisation disorder. And we wouldn’t say there is something wrong with you mentally. We’d say your brain is working so well it’s efforts to protect you have led you to cut yourself off from feeling. Believe it or not, this is classic and ‘normal’ in abuse survivors. You see when we experience abuse as a child, we don’t know how to get away. So we can just make a deal to cut ourselves off from our feelings to ‘protect’ ourselves. It helps when we are going through abuse. The trouble is that we continue this coping mechanism long after it actually helps. We become an adult who is numb and just getting by. Because, you see, to repress all the anger and rage and pain, we also have to repress all the joy and excitement. They all come from the same source. It’s like a river. You’ve built a dam and nothing can get through. Addiction and abuse via drugs is also common. We seek to feel something, anything, and we also have low self worth so actually ‘abuse’ ourselves through negative habits. And you also sound, yes like you have depression. That doctor was an absolute… well let’s just say we are sorry you had that experience. You need to seek a second opinion. Was this in the UK??? We tend to find this more in the USA this tendency to prescribe meds without offering therapy. It’s leaking into our country and we find it really awful. But you say doctor instead of GP so assuming you are American. We don’t know how it works there, but see another doctor. Also, you don’t have to see a doctor to book therapy in the USA or UK. Here in the UK, if you by chance are here, you do have to go through your GP to get free therapy, but are then often stuck with a huge wait and don’t get to choose your therapist. If you have the budget, find a private therapist who feel you could learn to trust (unlikely given your history you’d trust anyone easily). And also know there are always ways to find cheap therapy if you put your mind to it, use our article for inspiration http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy. But look, if you can afford to buy cocaine, you can afford therapy, see it as just putting your money in a different place, one that actually is a worthwhile investment, for both you and your child. Therapy is not a magic wand, or easy, it requires commitment, but you’d be surprised how much of this can be different in a few years if you make that commitment. Best, HT.