What is a Nervous Breakdown, and Should You Be Worried?
Dr. Sheri Jacobson
March 7, 2023
by Andrea M. Darcy
“I’m going to have a nervous breakdown” might be something you’ve shouted dramatically while under duress, or even secretly worried about when life was just all a bit too much.
But what is a nervous breakdown, really? And how do you know if you or someone you love is on their way towards one?
What is a nervous breakdown?
It is important to understand that a nervous breakdown is not actually an officially recognised mental health diagnosis. It is presently just an umbrella term to describe a loose group of symptoms.
A nervous breakdown does, however, inevitably involve other mental health conditions or disorders that are diagnosable. So in this way often acts as a red flag that you require support and it’s time to take your mental wellbeing seriously.
A nervous breakdown (also called a ‘mental breakdown’) generally refers to a sudden, acute, but ultimately time-limited crisis in mental health that means for a certain time you are unable to carry on with your everyday life. It’s that feeling of ‘hitting rock bottom’.
What triggers a mental breakdown?
There is no exact route to having a nervous breakdown but they generally tend to have a catalyst or a series of catalysts. Things like the below are often cited as triggers:
- a difficult life circumstance
-
By: bark
trauma
- accident (traffic, mugging)
- physical attack
- natural disaster
- ongoing difficulties
- severe workplace stress
- sleep disorders
- sickness or a sick family member
- single parenting
- mental health conditions like depression
There is also no exact route to recovery. For some, a mental breakdown lasts a few days or a week. For others, month. It does not last forever, though, and with the right help you will be able to rebuild your life again.
How do I know if I am having a mental breakdown?
In general, a nervous breakdown is preceded by extreme stress and a combination of depression and anxiety that leaves you feeling vulnerable. Your will also suffer from negative thinking, often obsessively so. You might also have a sense of being outside of reality, called ‘disassociation‘. Your body might be giving you signs of overwhelm, too, including things like muscle tension, unexplained aches, stomach pains, headaches, and ongoing colds and flu.
The main symptom you are in the middle of a breakdown is a lapse in your mental wellbeing leaving you unable to function and properly carry out your day-to-day routines such as going to work, managing your family, and taking care of yourself.
For some this might look like not being able to get out of bed because they are so mired in worry and fear.
By: Holly Lay
For others it can just be such mental confusion they can’t think straight and feel like they are floating out of their body. Their world might be crumbling about them over a period of weeks and they might be failing more and more to upkeep their social roles (work, friend, parent, leader) or acting strongly out of character in ways that confuse them.
Other related symptoms
Accompanying symptoms of a mental breakdown can again include depression and anxiety, as well as the below:
- sleep problems
- muddy and confused thinking
- unexplainable aches and pains
- dizziness
- paranoia
- feelings of panic
- lack of self care
- acting like a totally different person
- mood swings
- a feeling that you might be dying
Related mental health conditions to a nervous breakdown
A nervous breakdown often consists of a series of other mental health conditions colluding. For example, you might be depressed or suffer from anxiety, severe stress, and/or sleeping problems, and then find yourself having a breakdown.
Often, what seems a breakdown can be another diagnosable mental health issue in disguise. These can include:
- acute stress disorder
- episodic panic attacks (if your breakdown seems to come and go and involves panic)
- acute depression (if your breakdown doesn’t abate and you have very low moods)
- schizophrenia (if your breakdown comes with hallucinations)
- post traumatic stress disorder (if your breakdown has flashbacks)
- bipolar disorder (if you feel great then have mini breakdowns)
- borderline personality disorder (if you seem to breakdown often after breakups)
This is why it is so important to seek help if you feel you are having a nervous breakdown – you might discover you have another disorder as well that can improve greatly with the right treatment.
What is the recommended treatment for a mental breakdown?
By: John O’Nolan
It is absolutely possible to make a recovery from a breakdown and get back to your daily routine. Of course it can take time to get your life back on track.
Some even find that post nervous breakdown and seeking help, their life improves in ways they didn’t see as possible beforehand. You might find you know yourself better, have more compassion for yourself, or that a personality disorder that gets diagnosed due to seeking help responds well to treatment and your life gets easier after years of struggle.
While medication might be prescribed if your nervous breakdown is related to another mental health condition that it is known to alleviate, the most common treatment for a nervous breakdown is talking therapies with a counsellor or psychotherapist. A therapist will help you get to the heart of what is causing you stress, provide warm understanding, as well as help you find coping methods that work for you.
Many kinds of therapy can help, from psychodynamic psychotherapy, which delves into the way your past drives your behaviours in the present, to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which has a focus on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
It can be very useful to also try relaxation techniques. Ones that are used by therapists but that you can try by yourself include mindfulness and progressive muscle relaxation. Continuing with methods such as these can help you feel more relaxed on a daily basis, which is thought to make it far less likely you will have another breakdown in the future.
Things that can be helpful when recovering from a nervous breakdown can also include good self-care, journaling, exercising, and reading books that work to make you feel better (‘bibliotherapy‘).
Do not try to go it alone if you are suffering from a mental breakdown. Aside from the support of a professional, some find support groups helpful, and others turn to the support of friends and loved ones they trust. There are also several mental health hotlines in the UK that can offer a friendly voice in times of need such as the Good Samaritans.
Why me?
It’s important not to think there is something inherently wrong with you if you have a breakdown. While it has been found that some people might be more sensitive and genetically inclined to a nervous breakdown, and that a difficult childhood might have made you more sensitive to one, we all have our breaking point. With the right set of circumstances almost anyone would have a breakdown. What is important is to seek the support you need.
O suffer from bipolar lately I have just been unable to hope with anything this is the worst I’ve ever bern
That’s hard Cheryl. Do you have support? A therapist or a good friend you can talk to? If not you can reach out to the Good Samaritans anytime, they have free hotlines in both the UK and the USA.
Thank you for this article. I have been a very high functioning, overall happy single mother and professional for many years. I had PTSD from childhood trauma that I thought I had handled in many years of therapy. Within six months, I suddenly lost our home, needing to move fast. I had new much higher financial stress, too. I fell deeply in love and then it imploded shockingly suddenly- he had terrrible ongoing trauma and depression (I did not at tthe time but realized I had to move on). Then my therapist, anchor, of 23 years disappeared, just stopped returning calls, and I realized later he had his license taken away for sex harrassmsnt allegations. I had a car accident and car was totaled (other person’s fault but still awful). Then my mom went into hospice and I had to rush home to care for her at Xmas. NOw I am back and feel like a shell. I have to rebuild my self and try to work 2 jobs. I have a good therapist and trying some meds but have been down for months now. So don’t want to effect my teen son- that is the main thing- and to recover.
Gosh Maggie, that’s certainly too much for anyone. We are sorry to hear you have had to navigate all this in succession! You are obviously an intelligent resourceful person. You have already found new support, and are doing your research. So the first thing we can really add here is that hey, it’s ok to feel you can’t manage. It’s ok to feel like it’s too much and you are entirely overwhelmed. How does it feel if you just say, in this moment, i feel overwhelmed, and that’s okay? Just for today I am going to not beat myself up for feeling totally out of control. The next thing is that you are worried about your teenage son which is understandable. But he is also likely a wise and resourceful person too, who knows that life is life and sometimes it’s very hard. How open are you with your son? Do you think you can admit to him you are worried your life being hard right now will affect him? Would that be a useful conversation to have? Could you come up with parameters and boundaries between you that make you both feel better? Finally, you are doing your best. That is all a body can do. One day at a time is the annoying saying, but things take time, so that’s often what we are looking at. We believe you are recovering. You are here, making this brave comment. You have had enough courage to ensure you have support. You are on your way. Keep going.
I have anxiety and I suffered my second lifetime nervous breakdown from January to February 2018. My first one was in 1998 following my father’s death and pushing hard on a demanding job.
More recently, my mother died in 2015. We shared the cost of living in a house with a large backyard.
I love the place.
But with mom gone, I ran into money shortages. I tried to erase debts with loans and an increased freelance workload. In the past year, Donald Trump’s wacky ways and threatening agenda have added to my anxiety and anger.
In 1998 my breakdown lasted six weeks.
I read that is normal, although I understand it’s shorter for some people.
It was characterized by severe and long-lasting panic attacks, difficulty driving and inability to walk long distances outdoors or stand in lines.
I continued my job as a journalist, faking it along. Fortunately, my writing remained strong.
And I maintained my telephone interviewing skills.
My 2018 breakdown also lasted about six weeks and although tapering off now, I occasionally get minor panic attacks that I can overcome in 15 to 20 minutes. No medication is needed.
At the peak of the breakdown I had long and severe panic attacks from morning to night.
Finally, one Sunday morning I called paramedics who took me to an ER room. I knew I was only getting worse and needed help.
Once doctors found out I was having a bad panic attack, they pretty much ignored me. I was later given some strong pills and driven home.
In the last six weeks, I haven’t been able to drive much at all. Walking and standing in line has not been the problem it was in the first breakdown.
I tend to panic and feel fear when I’m behind the wheel. The fear continues for a while even after exiting the car.
I’ve been taking public buses, but the ride is bumpy, long and at first, kind of nerve-wracking. Fortunately, my writing has remained good. And I’ve been providing well researched 1,000-word stories.
In addition, I’ve remained busy on social media.
At the computer I’m shaky because I also now have Parkinson’s disease.
My shakiness is more obvious when I rush.
Coupled with a breakdown and panic attacks, Parkinson’s can be a real problem. It makes you even less stable.
It also stiffens muscles and sometimes makes you dizzy.
But again, with the six-week funk now behind me, I seem to be doing better each day. I still feel fearful about driving.
One of my problems is that the specialists are 25 miles away and I’m having a difficult time getting transportation.
So I’ve been in a mess for a while. Hopefully I can get this all straightened out soon.
And I must do what I can in the future to avoid a third breakdown. It seems that I might have one every 20 years. At that pace and being 67 I shouldn’t be in line for any records. I think the 19th Nervous Breakdown that the Rolling Stones sing about will never be topped.
Dear Chuck, we appreciate that you maintain your sense of humour through all this! What we notice reading your comment is that it is very logical, yes, but there feels a real lack of any emotions and a definite sense you push yourself. How do you feel about things like sadness, anger, having bad days, letting yourself go a bit? Does reading that list feel okay for you, or does it make you feel nervous or even fearful? What would life look like if all those things were okay to experience? Is it okay for you to not seem okay? Or does that make you really uncomfortable? Do you let others see you on down days or do you worry a lot about what others think? How interesting questions to think about. Losing a mother is a big deal, and three years is actually not a huge amount of space when it comes to mourning. In fact are you sure what you are experiencing is a ‘nervous breakdown’? It sounds very much like you are mourning in both instances. Losing someone throws us into emotional shock, and we all handle that differently. The problem with emotions is that if we evade them and try to to store them away or control them they eventually explode out in things that can appear like mini breakdowns if we are unused to allowing ourselves to be emotional.We are sorry that you were just given pills and driven home after a panic attack. That makes us really sad to hear. We are in the UK, not America, and the USA is a bit more ‘give them meds’ than our country. We’d see that as someone needing support. A good bout of counselling or psychotherapy with someone they felt safe to process their fears, worries, and emotions around. And maybe explore what it is about driving that is such a trigger for you, too. We’d let you know, Chuck, that nowadays you can do therapy over the internet. Which means you don’t have to leave home. If you did have the budget, we’d suggest you consider this. It might really be helpful to look at things like the questions we raised above. It might be that you come from a generation where men were taught they had to be in charge, strong, in control. Allowing yourself the space to be free of such constraints could be a revelation. We hope that helps Chuck.
I had a great life, successful Hair Salon Owner, booked 3 months in advance, lever worked a day in my career because I LOVED it so much and every client was like family. I was also a personal trainer, was Blessed with 100s of FRIENDS, always supported myself…and was the breadwinner in my marriage. Greg slept in his car behind his $5/hr job. I always seemed to get along with most people I met I think due to having so many diverse friends from living all over the world and USA by being an AIR FORCE BRAT.
But for some reason my husband’s Mother, his younger brother,(Mom’s fav) and his wife did nothing but treat me AWFUL the whole time we were married. Well, the sis-n-law came later. I told my husband but he would say, “It’s my brother’s wife! What am I supposed to do??” His Mom would cuss me out…nothing from him. I gave my husband Love, Support, Confidence, a nice home, nice cars, introduced him to people who saw his significance, had a client that was head of HR for the County who said she’d put his application on top, ( still has that job making $30/hr w/ benefits) plus did EVERYTHING. I was ALWAYS hard working, strong, honest, had ALOT of integrity, didn’t know a stranger, wanted to learn about everything…not afraid to take a chance. I spent my life laughing.
I kept all the family drama inside because I didn’t want to cause problems for my husband. Plus luckily, his Dad and stepmother along with everyone else on that side saw my heart and we loved each other so much. They did not get along with my brother/sister in law.
I treated my sister in law so good; WOW she said the nastiest things to my friends and I. Usually I don’t take that disrespect BUT it was his family.
One weekend I had a poker party for my brother in law and invited his wife. Only woman. She didn’t show up because apparently”I saw her out and didn’t say hi first” Not true of course, but she called my mom in law, told her and I got cussed out the next day. I kept my mouth shut for 13 yrs, which killed me, she makes up a lie, and starts everything I tried to avoid.
The next day I came home from the gym early, sick to my stomach, made some soup before work…but just collapsed on the floor, legs crossed, rocking, sobbing and just repeating “I’m so tired”.
My Dr called me Superwoman so after hearing me sob, he stayed after work to see me. He checked my Thyroid, it was fine. Then he gave me Xanax and told me to take a few days off..he was floored! My husband called him days later, I was no better, and told me to take his old Prozac. I couldn’t function for months, tried to commit suicide…I’M A CHRISTIAN! In hospital 3 days, what a joke, put me on more meds, tried again, saw probably 20-30 Psychiatrists and Counselors within 4 states, all piling drugs on me..I couldn’t walk, Couldn’t function….I failed that depression test. The last psychiatrist I saw was the ONLY one who asked how I was diagnosed. I had been told many times I was drug resistant, but he said I was misdiagnosed and weaned me off all those drugs.
That day I collapsed was 1/26/96. I died that day. I don’t have much memory of the time on drugs. My husband kicked me out of MY house, had MY car repossessed, sold all of my things then claimed bankruptcy…I had EXCELLENT credit.
I am now 58, can’t get a job to live off of and living with my 87 yr old Mother. I made 6 figures in my late 20s and am completely broke. The worst thing is….I’ve grieved EVERYDAY, EVERY SECOND for that person I used to be. I have no idea who I am. I have no passions…Nobody has been able to help me. Every breath is painful. If I just would’ve gotten the proper treatment….I’ve lost everything and everyone. Life is HELL.
Kelly, this is a really heartbreaking story. But the thing about stories is we use them to punish ourselves. And the stories we tell are just one perspective. We tend to tell the story we want to hear about ourself or the one we can most continue to keep ourself small with, if our deep, hidden core belief is that we are not worthy. You see from our perspective, we could retell this. It would sound different. The clue is in ‘I had no idea who I am”. We are not surprised. You spent your entire life trying to be what you thought others wanted you to be (successful, nice, supportive, fit, wealthy… the list goes on) that the real you probably got lost along the way. You see if we retold the story, it would sound like, ‘woman spends her whole life trying to prove how great she is to people around her even when they are never going to see it as they aren’t actually worth it, and even as the person who really needs to believe she is great is actually, well, HER. Then she finally crashes, as who wouldn’t after all that senseless effort and always trying to be perfect instead of being your imperfect self like you deserve to be, and being loved anyway? ANYONE would crash in the face of this. She unfortunately has bad care in a system that gives her drugs instead of the support she needs, (so we assume it’s America, the drug pushing there is awful) and all those people she spent her life being good to prove they were not worthy of her as they desert her. Now she feels like she is at rock bottom…BUT, actually, she is free at last! She is finally at a place where she can finally be herself and make choices to please herself instead of everyone around her, and she can now get support to find the self-esteem she was missing all along and start to choose to put her time and energy towards others who give back time and energy in return. In a way this could be the best thing that ever happened to her, if she makes the right choices next. She can find herself at last and give up the codependency in favour of self care.” Sorry if that seems hard to read. But we truly believe you DO have passions, that you ARE a worthy wonderful person, you just need to give yourself time and get the right support. Find a counsellor or psychotherapist (NOT a psychiatrist!!) who does not believe in drugs but in proper help, who you feel comfortable around and that you could grow to trust, and start talking about that army brat childhood. We suspect there was a lot of moving, strict distracted parents you had to win love from, that you never got to be yourself as a kid and the pattern continued. As for cost, there are options. Read our article on low cost counselling here for ideas on how to find it http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy. And until then, stop judging yourself for grieving. But grieve for yourself, not for a life that wasn’t even worthy of you anyway. Also consider reading self help books. There are great ones out there. We wish you courage!
Having a hard time I’ve never really dealt with anything and just seem to have one trauma after another got belted when I was a kid even though I’d done nothing wrong it was my sisters I’ve been raped twice sexually assaulted victim of domestic abuse harassed and stalked for 11 years keep my self to myself not really a social person I got married and was happy his family hated me and was constantly trying to break us up sadly he died in January and I can’t cope I’m not me was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2013 after all my kids had been adopted I have tried suicide but feels like I’ve hit the self destruct button I don’t want to leave my house and when I do its because I’m drunk then try starting a fight my heart rate didn’t even increase that’s scary
Hi Mandy, it’s actually normal for survivors of abuse to then attract more and more abuse. What happens is that we go into victim mentality. http://bit.ly/buildboundaries If we don’t seek proper support, like counselling, we can then spend our life unknowingly giving off signals of a victim, which then attracts abusers. Also, trauma means we grow up into adults who don’t set boundaries. The less we set healthy boundaries, the more we allow others to step in and treat us poorly. http://bit.ly/buildboundaries We’d highly advise you seek support. If you are on low income you can learn ways to seek low cost therapy here http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy.
I had a breakdown after finding my mother dead. I was in the middle of a relationship w a severely abusive Narcissist too,that alone can cause a breakdown. Once my mother passed the physical abuse set in 5 days later. He took complete advantage of me then. I fought him off fairly good til she passed. My father passed away 10 months earlier at home from cancer. I was his caretaker. I also had a baby a month earlier w the Narc.
I suffered memory loss, hallucinations, talked to myself, wouldn’t leave her bed, stopped taking care of myself, refuses to eat, nearly committed suicide, gave up totally on life. He made my life hell, played with my head daily, refuses to pay bills, our water was shut off for a month and I used rainwater to do dishes and bathe us after boiling it, lack of food, and omg so much more.
I had NO SUPPORT SYSTEM at all. I have that home full of memories and the very place she does. I was left to pack up all of my mothers belongs 2 months after her passing. No family helped me. No family would even move the items to storage. My son in laws didn’t want to scratch his truck. My teenage kids was too busy, the Narc walked out on us (only so he could have fun w drugs and girls for two weeks) then he came back, I wouldn’t reach out to distant family, I just sat in that home packing, crying, falling asleep in the floor, and life was gone as I knew it. It’s taken me 3 years to get where I am now. Neither parent had death insurance, nothing left but belongings to pack. I felt alone, hopeless, forgotten, self pity, and the pain I felt in my gut was so severe I would punch myself to try and stop that pain. I ended up having severe uncontrollable high blood pressure and insomnia, my teen son yelled at me months after she died telling me he hated me I wasn’t the same. But they even left the same day she died. I had my baby and my 8 year old and the Narc to turn to only. Moma was my best friend plus I took care of her my entire life (37 years old). Moma died at 55 (2016)and daddy at 56 (2015). I still struggle and my now 22 and 19 yo don’t understand me. They want me to shut my crying up. Not speak of it. . When I do I try to use myself and my daughter for example to try and make her (22 yo) to understand. But she DNT care. She says oh well we all die. My mom was all I had. I’ll nvr be the same happy chipper person again. Now I nvr smile or laugh or enjoy myself. I’m still fighting financially, emotionally and mentally. Hell I lost everything to the Narc due to my stupidity of going insane. He even sold my parents things wo me knowing. I left him 8 months ago. Since he’s been arrested. A tornado ruined my home last summer, no insurance. It’s just been a total mess. I’m still fighting tho. I hadn’t given up since I decided is win this battle. I can’t .put into words the destruction I did to myself and allowed when I had my break down. I’m ashamed of myself cuz my kids have so much anger built up. I’m done the best I can but I’m still breathing.
Hi Indi, sounds incredibly challenging and difficult. Have you made any efforts to seek support? We have an article on finding free to low cost counselling, it’s written for the UK but most ideas in it would work in the US too. http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy
I had a Nervous breakdown after a man violently destroyed my home, and I could not afford to pay for the damages all by myself. I wanted to press criminal charges against the man who destroyed my home, but everywhere, and everyone that I turned to for help, all told me that even if I were to press charges against this person, that I would get no help for fixing up my home of the damages. I did not want to become homeless, so I panicked, and although I wanted to press charges I was too afraid to for fear of losing my home, and becoming homeless. Unfortunately, after I panicked and when no one would tell me where and how to get help for fixing up my home of the damages that this abuser caused to my home, I was too afraid to press charges, and the abuser got away with destroying my home. Sometimes I feel as if maybe I should not have asked for help, If I could have known to keep quiet immediately following that person violently destroying my home, I could have simply pressed criminal charges against him, and I could have and should have asked for help AFTER pressing charges, but because I asked for help immediately following the episode, everyone I spoke to chose to blame me rather than my abuser for the incident, and I could not take anymore.
Hi Lydia, sounds tough. We don’t know the full situation so we can’t say what was the right thing to do. But we can say that if this situation is constantly running through your head and affecting your day-to-day life it would be worth talking to someone about. If you are on a low budget read our article on how to find low cost or free counselling http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy
I am really struggling with CPTSD,PMDD and ADHD, I also am exhibiting an increased in IED reactions, which are only being triggered by relationships breaking down, lost of trust on support services in NHS and there is not a lot of help available that understands the comorbility between these issues.
I have been suicidal for 7 days now. I have been to to Dr who kicked me out without providing help and support as I had an IED episode.
The next day two of my friends terminated our relationships as I am too much , one said he can’t help me and makes him feel guilty so can’t hang out anymore and the other misunderstood a communication and now has threatened to harm me.
My private ADHD clinician also terminated the call and has not issued another prescription.
I also had my income withdrawn and have had to argue to get it paid , there’s been ongoing issues for a while now.
I’ve tried therapy,CBT,,talking, keeping on track of hormone trackers and diet and routine etc has only exasperated me further.
In June I ended up in hospital to be shoved in a room alone for 8hrs. They discharged me to a respite centre where I was not given space and quiet safety so had another IED episode, while calling the crisis team as I was scared they kicked me out, in my pj’s not even allowed to use the toilet.
In Nov it got too much again, by brother thought he was helping by pinning me down but it jus made me terrified and I went into fight or flight. As he had me in a choke hold and I could feel the colour draining and the pain I tried to get him to release me but he wouldn’t. I ended up scratching his face to get him off me. Absolutely scary when you have never been violent before.
The police later came and arrested me in my own home while I was going through and emotional breakdown. I had just managed to get an emergency appointment with the Dr but they refuse to let me attend. The police then put me in a cell alone for 12 hours. I started self harming here. My beautiful long locks are no more, I stead I wear a hat. Most can’t tell but I’ve started pulling my hair out, from the roots or just where it breaks. It overrides the emotional pain momentarily.
When the pain gets so deep and continuous I can’t bare it. I feel like a coward for not being able to commit suicide as I alienate everyone I’ve ever loved.
I just hurt those I love by making them feel guilty that they can’t help me. It’s hurting them to see me hurting so bad, no matter what I try it just gets worse each cycle.
I have never lived my life with regret until recently, now I look back and realise I was always broken and have always hurt those I love.
Now I am truly alone and not sure I’ll make Xmas this year.
There’s only so much you can keep talking about it before you realise that it doesn’t work any further. I am too much of a coward to face the conflict and have no energy left to fix the things I have broken. Each time I have previously it just happens again , my sorry means nothing now , but they will never fully understand I cannot control this.